To many.

I am paying to much attention to myspace right now. So again I will ignore this blog.

-Roguemind

I need a muse.

When it comes to writing, as in a story or narrative, My motivation is lost and will not come back. I am more than slightly perturbed about this. I love to write. I love to write almost as much as I love to read. Yet all that seems to flow out of my fingers as of late is reason after reason as to why I do not claim any religion and why you should avoid most of them. Do not get me wrong, I like writing about that also. It is just that I really do enjoy writing fiction. I am not that good at it, but i love to do it.
I originally intended this blog to be about religion and my thoughts on it. I am now starting to think that this will be a more creative outlet and that I will leave the religious, anti religious rather, outbursts to my space. There is already a strong group of people to feed off of it and there seems to be an abundance of ignorance to attack. That and myspace has a lot of good music. So this place shall now become my outlet for fiction and philosofiction. Philosofiction is a word i just made up right now. I plan to bury some of my philosophy about life inside of my writing. I don't know if that will work or not, but it is the plan.
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I will start you off with a story I started some time ago. I have no idea where it was going so don't bother asking. Also I am pretty much the complete opposite of an editor. You have been warned.

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Alan Greer By Chris M.

You could probably get away with calling me what ever your mind can think
of and I would be none the wiser. But if you insist on knowing my real name I will tell you. It is Alan Greer. I have middle name as well but its unimportant and kind of silly anyways. I am currently employed at the Bremerton branch of the Central Kitsap Library although I really have no business being here. I sort of bluffed my way into the job. I am shy but for some reason I do really well at interviews and on top of that I have a creative and sometimes quick imagination. The interview was short and the interviewer walked away thinking that I was a published poet and had a passion for reading along with four years of library experience. It was not all a lie. I did have a couple poems published when I was a kid in some stupid on line contest thing. I also do love to read and have been visiting libraries ever since I was a child. Just do not ask me a damm thing about the dewy decimal system. Luckily we have computers and databases and maps of the library around here or I would have probably been outed and have lost my job months ago. I can here you asking me why I did not just go out and work fast food like ever other twenty year old nobody who has no clue what he wants to do with his life. I did try that. It lasted about six months actually. I worked the grill at a local McDonald's.
I bust my ass making burgers and fries and scraping grease out from under and behind the stove. I probably still have scars from the grease burns. I was always cheerful and never said no when they asked me to stay late and close. I even cleaned the bathrooms once or twice. Then one Saturday morning around six AM I got a phone call from my manager. She wanted me to come in to work. I told her that I was pretty sure that it was my day off. She agreed of course and then started to batter me with “your a hard worker” speeches and tried to explain that in life sometimes things do not go according to schedule. My first thought was to hang up the phone. My second thought was not really a thought so much as it was an out pouring of blabbering about how I am the hardest worker she has and how I hope she missed me because I quit. I was then told that normally a two weeks notice is given for these sorts of things. I told her not to worry and that if she wanted she could keep paying me for two weeks but I still was not going to show up to scrape grease off the god damn grill for some stupid inspection anymore. Not only was that not going to happen but I also would not be showing up to work for her at all anymore. The next thing I heard was the date and time that I could show up to return my uniform and collect my last check. Then she hung up. As I put my phone back onto the receiver I thought that I probably should have been nicer to the poor lady. She was a decent person to work for and she tried her best to encourage people to take pride in what they do. But I was not nice. And at that point there was really nothing I could do about it. So I just rolled over and went back to bed. I decided that I would never work food service again. So that is the reason why I am now currently a book slinger at the local library. Despite me really having no idea about my job, it is not such a bad place to work. As I said before I really do enjoy reading and the people I work with are nice enough. It also gives me a chance to meet all sorts of different types of personalities. One of my past times is people watching and there is certainly no shortage of different sorts of people at a library. From the do it yourself mechanic to the junior college student trying to write a term paper on his impression of the philosophies of Camus. They are all here at one time or another. But I digress. I am trying to tell a story here and I ended up giving you my life history.
The library today has been busier then normal. A lot of students have been in and out all day.
Sundays are supposed to be relaxing not all active and lively. It is like every teacher in town told their student to to the library this weekend and find a good book to read and every single student waited till the last minute to go.
'Where can I find that one book by the guy who just died? The one about the war?'
Slaughter House Five I ask?
'Yeah Yeah I think thats it'
Kurt Vonnegut wrote it and yes he did just die. Try fiction. Most likely in the Vs. If you still have trouble finding it, go over there and type the book name in the computer terminal and it will tell you if it is available at any of our other branches. I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice but it was unavoidable. I get easily annoyed at people who do not understand alphabetical order and the difference between fiction and non-fiction. Don't they teach kids anything at school these days?
My god I sound like an old man. I am only twenty for Christ's sake. I was in school myself about five minutes ago.
I don't think she caught the sarcasm because she just politely thanked me and walked off towards the non-fiction section. I opened my mouth to try and correct her but was promptly cut off by what can only be described as a blizzard of books and glass and pencils and bits of paper and the loudest noise I have ever heard in my life. And then, life stopped for just a moment as if to allow me to see the flurry of knowledge falling into chaos. But the moment passed and time caught up with me. I found my self losing touch with gravity and taking flight towards the back wall. Despite the epic pandaemonium I still had a moment or two mid flight that gave my brain a chance to think one single thought. And for some strange reason that thought was me wondering weather or not that girl realized she was walking towards the wrong section of the library before the whirlwind and explosion threw the library in its own personal bit of anarchy. What an odd thing to think while being hurled at a wall by some sort of explosion. Just as the thought was finishing up I was slammed against the wall behind the counter.
And then there was blackness.
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More to follow? Maybe. As I said before. I have no idea where that was going.

-Chris M.

Stuff.

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Next I give you.
Code of Hammurabi created in 1760 B.C.
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Lets talk about Hitler first.
Adolf Hitler
He was raised Roman Catholic, yet never attended mass after leaving his parents home. He was quoted as having said the following.
"As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice"
So he was religious, but was not without some criticism of his religion.
"The Mohammedan religion too would have been much more compatible to us than Christianity. Why did it have to be Christianity with its meekness and flabbiness..."
And what did this vile creature do in the name of his Religion? Ugh, Has any one heard of the Holocaust? Here is an excerpt from an essay that discussed Hitlers beliefs.
In his day, hatred of Jews was the norm. In great measure it was sponsored by the two major religions of Germany, Catholicism and Lutheranism. He greatly admired Martin Luther, who openly hated the Jews. Luther condemned the Catholic Church for its pretensions and corruption, but he supported the centuries of papal pogroms against the Jews. Luther said, "The Jews deserve to be hanged on gallows seven times higher than ordinary thieves," and "We ought to take revenge on the Jews and kill them." "Ungodly wretches" he calls the Jews in his widely read Table Talk.
Hitler seeking power, wrote in Mein Kampf. "... I am convinced that I am acting as the agent of our Creator. By fighting off the Jews. I am doing the Lord's work." Years later, when in power, he quoted those same words in a Reichstag speech in 1938.
Religion Of Hitler

"The Vaticans support of Hitler is also a matter of historical record. The Vatican signed a treaty with Nazi Germany on July 20, 1933. Hitler repeatedly referred to himself as a Christian both in speeches and in his writings, and was never excommunicated by the church. Every Nazi soldier was required to wear a belt buckle with the inscription "Gott mit uns," meaning God is with us. "

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Mao Z. Was just a communist who was an Atheist. Seeing as Atheism on not a religion there is no way it could be the cause of what he did. He was after control and power.
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Stalin.
He was also an Atheist. But then we have this.
"his personal experience of "surveillance, spying, invasion of inner life, violation of feelings", in Stalin's own words, influenced the design of his future terror state. (in reference to his years a seminary school)
Further reading has led me to believe that his Atheistic beliefs had nothing to do whit his actions ether. He was a communist, but communism did not come from Atheism as discussed below.
"Marx had clearly identified organized religion as a threat to the worker because the loyalty of individual workers should be to each other, not to a supreme being. As a result, Stalin took steps to limit the power of religion in the USSR. Churches and mosques were closed and converted into schools or movie theaters. Religious icons were melted down, and meetings were banned throughout the country. Religion was forced to go underground, in order to hide from the prying eyes of Stalin's police. "
The went against religion because to him it seemed to be a threat to his power. If people worshiped their god what was left for him?
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And again with Pol Pot. Religion was seen as something that could take away his power
Unity means the organization had to embrace all the information, everybody had to be the same in term of clothes, language, food, social status, culture…etc. Any ethnic group dared to protest was murdered, because it was thought as “contradicted to the organization’s policies”. The right to expression, assembly, and vote were all abolished, because all of these were thought as “break the organization’s unity”.
“reactionary religions which are detrimental to Democratic Kampuchean people are absolutely forbidden”
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And now let us tackle communism. The connection of Atheism and Communism is very simple. I have stated it above more than once. The word here is convenience. It is a corruption of a belief, or a non-belief rather, to suit a purpose. In this case the purpose of Communism. Any powerful organized group of people is a threat. And was does religion do? It brings a ton of people together under their belief system and lends the 'power' to the leader of that system, weather it be a god or a prophet. Under that system the people will start holding their religion higher then the communist ideal. In which under the communist the religious had to be squashed. This is not a case of Atheism causing Communism, It is a case of an opportunist seeing a tool that could be used to maintain control and prevent losing it. Most Communists are Atheists. But many people do not realize that most Atheists in are not Communists.

"Another reason is the "moral barometer." God, whether you believe in Him or not, represents all of the goodness in the world. Contrary to Marx's opinion, religion gives people a reason to fight tyranny, namely that it's wrong. If Communist governments acknowledged the existence of God, then their citizens would realize how horrible their governments really are. This is much too dangerous an option. Instead, God must not exist. To accomplish this, Communists create the "cults of personality" described above to channel all religous drive into the State. The State, represented by a Big Brother or a Stalin or even a Lenin, is the supreme good for which all people must slave for. The government can never be wrong if the government is God! Therefore, it seems that Communists don't not believe in God, they fear Him.
They fear the idea of someone ELSE having the power. Even Stalin himself recognized the mind-fuck and hypnotizing effects of religion when he started to lose power.
"proof that Stalin was not acting on atheistic principles could be seen during the opening salvos of the Barbarossa campaign during World War II. Things were not going well for the Russian armies at that point and Stalin, facing a possible revolution on the home front was searching for ways to amass a broad base of support for the war effort. To achieve this, he reinstated the Orthodox Church hierarchy to serve Mother Russia. This shows that Stalin was by no means averse to promoting religion if it suited his purposes to do so. "
We could talk forever on communism> Instead I will leave you with this quote on the Marxist philosophy.
"Marxism renounces religion, not because of religious doctrine, but because of the actions of "religious" men."
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And a quote an Atheism.

"Atheism is more than just the knowledge that gods do not exist, and that religion is either a mistake or a fraud. Atheism is an attitude, a frame of mind that looks at the world objectively, fearlessly, always trying to understand all things as a part of nature. It could be said that Atheism has a doctrine to question and a dogma to doubt. It is the human mind in its natural environment, nothing is too holy to be investigated, nor too sacred to be questioned. The Atheist Bible, it could be said, has but one word: "THINK." Atheism is the complete emancipation of the human mind from the chains and fears of superstition."

Let us not forget that we are all Atheist. We do not all believe in the same things. Some do not believe in a Christian god. Some do not believe in Thor. Some think Loki was a myth. I will leave you with a very simple definition to understand.

a·the·ist /ˈeɪθiɪst/ Pronunciation Key - [ey-thee-ist] –noun
a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.
[Origin: 1565–75; < Gk áthe(os) godless + -ist]

Life is alive.

I bought some fruit today. I can't wait to eat it. I have not really had much to snack on during the day. So when i went to the store today i fixed that problem. I figured i might as well chose a healthy snack. And it is all organic yummyness. I just realized today that I have 15 days left till i start my journey to CT. It is going to be some trip. I get to drive and I love that. I get to visit my home town. I might even get new ink along the way. And then i get to CT and into my new apartment. I always loved moving in. If you ignore all the chaos of a move it is a lot of fun. You get to meet a new friend. A new place to explore. A new home. A change. Sometimes I feel that i get to content with where i am. I feel stagnated. It things like a huge move and a new job that stir the pot a little and remind you that life is still moving along like normal. Its like reading a good book. One that lulls you into being bored. It will take you all the way to the edge. To the point where you think that if you read one more god damn word and nothing happens that you will find the author and shoot him or her in the face. And then suddenly, like the feeling you get when you see the stars from deep in the desert for the first time, the books blows your mind and turns that fragile little soul of yours in to a hot bed of thoughts and memories tearing there way threw your mind. Thats what a move is. It is freedom. It is life. It is life in one of its most easily palpable forms. The change and the journey that you always knew was there is now staring at you face to face and asking what your going to do next.

-Chris

Tesla and my roadtrip. Haha you thought i was interesting. Suckers.

Tesla and my roadtrips. Haha I tricked you into thinking i was intersting. Tesla.
The man that made Thomas Edison look like an idiot.


"If Edison had a needle to find in a haystack, he would proceed at once with the diligence of the bee to examine straw after straw until he found the object of his search.
I was a sorry witness of such doings, knowing that a little theory and calculation would have saved him ninety per cent of his labor."


The father of radio. He drew the first induction motor in the sand using a stick.


"Like a flash of lightning and in an instant the truth was revealed. I drew with a stick on the sand the diagrams of my motor. A thousand secrets of nature which I might have stumbled upon accidentally I would have given for that one which I had wrestled from her against all odds and at the peril of my existence."


People thought he was insane. He had ocd. And is responsible for the modern world of electronics. He talked of geothermal power, and discussed what would become solar panels, the collection of radiant energy.

Contemporary biographers of Tesla have deemed him "The Father of Physics" and "the man who invented the twentieth century" and "the patron saint of modern electricity."
......
"Aside from his work on electromagnetism and engineering, Tesla is said to have contributed in varying degrees to the establishment of robotics, remote control, radar and computer science, and to the expansion of ballistics, nuclear physics, and theoretical physics"


And this mad who dies alone in his new york apartment was never given the nobel prize. The closest he came was when he received one vote for the famed award. Sometimes i don't understand why people cannot see greatness staring them in the face.

In other news. I loaded, had weighed, and then unloaded 1220 pounds worth of crap in my car today. I am sore as shit now. It was for my move. The navy pays me on how much shit i will be driving across country with. That should fetch me somewhere around two grand. Dont get to excited. I soon get to drive from Washington to Connecticut. The hotels and gas will suck up the money quick. Not to mention that when i get to CT i'll have to drop money on a deposit and various other stupids things people invented to try and fuck me out of cash. Oh well. I'll do alright. Somehow i always do.
Speaking of the drive across country. I know I have friends all across the country, and i want to meet them. So if your between WA and CT, and want to meet me, just let me know and maybe I'll be able to swing by. The visit will surly be quick as I have a long way to go, but that does not meet I don't want to meet cha.

I also have updated my myspace theme and i kind of dig it. I took two premade tool looking themes and mashed them together. Its not to crazy but it is also no minimalist crap(i actually love the minimalist crap it just did not feel right)
Let me know if it sucks.

And lastly I have been reading the Orson Scot Card series based on Andrew 'Ender' Wiggen.
And I love it. I am currently on Xenocide. His writing is not to heavy yet it is not void of thought. And it is entertaining. I cant wait to see how this goes. If this is any clue as to his writing style i may have to look into his other books. I have already been sucked into the Greatness that is Kurt Vonnegut. He is now ether my first or second favorite write ever. If you ever throw out one of his books with out giving me a chance to take it, your inhuman. Anyways. I don't like Orson Scot Card that much. But he is close. And I could not tell you why. His style is not really that special. I guess maybe i just like the stories.

But I am talking to much. I should go to bed or something. See you around.

-Chris

A river filled with thought fish.

People are strange. If one person tells a completely untrue story in public he is ridiculed as and idiot or a liar or as being crazy. But if millions of people start telling the same untrue story it is a matter of faith. Where is the line. At what point do people stop saying "man thats a ridicules fairy tale" and begin trying to convince people that it is all a matter of faith or that god works in mysterious ways. Why did people suddenly decide that ancient myths are now truth. (see gilgimesh and other sumerian myths)

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Many many many people have addressed this issue before. And I will again.
What makes a person think he is more qualified to study or ask questions about a subject. This is a general question. The answer is schooling and study. And what do you study? You study facts and research or conduct you own research. You simply prove something to yourself using a reason-founded and reality based theory. Why is it then that the religious people go nuts when we hold their religion to the same standards that you hold say, the way the toaster heats up bread. We can both say and prove that a toaster will toast bread. I can say trust me it will toast the bread. And then i can toast some bread. And i can prove that its heat that toasts the bread. If i unplug the toaster and put the bread in it, the bread will not get toasted. Why is it so hard for people to do the same with their religion. I know i would want to put that much ever into anything i planed on taking that serious. It just baffles me.

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A friend brought up, in relations to god and the evil in the world, that this is provably a dog eat dog world. Survival of the fittest. What difference is there between between the violence in nature and the violence of man. The difference is the effect it has. And the necessity of the violence. In nature, as in animals and plants, it is about survival. Where as in humans. It is not about survival. And there is not a purpose for it. Some of us humans are evil. And some of us are crazy. My question is about the point of that. And why would a god allow such things. And my answer is this. If god is out there. God can do nothing about it.
If god is out there and can do something about it, why should i care about god? God obviously does not care about man.
There is no good reason for rape and murder and some of the other evils of man. It not about survival nor is it preservation of a species. And this leads me right into something else i had in my brain.

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And lastly. Here is a long but good video. It is a lecture by Sam Harris and it is about 15minutes long but is well worth the time.



-Chris

Lets talk about god bay-bee. Lets talk about you and me.

Thats title blows. I hardly even have a day job these days but i most definitely should stick to it. Anyways. This is something i posted somewhere else. But seeing as i have two many blogs i will try and update them all at the same time with the same shit. Forgive me if you have already read this but i don't care and i am only one person. Not three persons.
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I do not understand how a person could willingly follow a god on the general deffiniton of the word. Here is a quote from a conversation i had earlier.

[quote]
I have an issue with the bible yes. But the important issue is with god. I don't see how a being could make existence and then not have the power to make it a happy place. I'm not looking for perfection. That would be boring. But you can have an imperfect world and not have people getting murdered and raped. So the way i see it. If there is a god, ether he/she/it had nothing to do with creation or he has the ability to fix things, which makes him/it/she/whatever the complete opposite of anything i want to be associated with.
[/quote]

So most can agree that mistakes need to happen. Its part of learning and can makes things better in the end. I would not want a world with no mistakes. But do we really need things like rape and murder? No. And the answer is always no. Thats what gets me when it comes to god. If he is there and can do something about it then fuck him. I will not worship a being like that.
If he is there and cannot do anything about it then where did all the power go. It is no easy task to make everything. Just ask any physics major. It doesnt make sense. (please dont give me the "god works in mysterious ways" crap. its tired)

So I guess we have three options.
God is there but wont help. (not worth worshiping or paying attention two.)
God is there and can't help, but sits back judging people. And he wont let people at the good stuff unless he thinks they are alright. Seems kinda selfish to me. And which fucking rule book do we follow? (Again. Not worth my worshiping him. If what we did in life actually determined where we went in death there damm sure would have been more reliable ways of telling which set of rules was right.)
Or there is nothing out there. (In this case there is nothing to worship)

Or maybe he is there and he is just looking for generally good people and doesnt really care if they fall into any particular group. (In this case you still don't need a religion. You just need to be a nice person right? So why worship)

And now I am at a loss. I cannot in any way find a good reason to even worry about god. Or worry about which religion i follow. I am curious to here other peoples thoughts on this. Why do believe in your god while still keeping the about questions about the shitty things in life in your mind? And what is the point.

As a side note just in case your curious. If your forced me to place my beliefs in a category they would be jammed somewhere between zen and atheism.
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And thats that. Now its your turn.

-Chris